To Club or Not to Club?

I always said, “I won’t be one of those parents.”

You know the ones, constantly in the car, juggling schedules, ferrying children from one club to another, living off snacks in the boot and calendar reminders.

Fast forward a few years, and here I am: a full-time taxi driver, six days a week.

The only boundary I’ve managed to hold onto is that Sunday is our activity-free day.

The parenting promises we make (before we have to keep them )

Before my children reached “club age”, I remember so many conversations with other parents.

Some were very clear:

“We won’t over-schedule our kids.”

“They don’t need clubs — school is enough.”

“Family time comes first.”

I nodded along confidently, thinking, Yes, that’s me.

But then your children grow. They move into their infant years. They make friends. They come home talking about football, dance, swimming, drama, karate — all the things their friends are doing. And they ask, “Can I try it too?”

At first, you think: What’s the harm in one club?

What you don’t realise is that signing up to one club once is rarely just one club — or just once.

When interests multiply

My children have a wonderfully diverse set of interests. And as parents, we want to nurture that curiosity, not shut it down.

But suddenly, the calendar fills up:

• Different clubs on different days

• Different children with different interests

• Different locations, times, and commitments

And just like that, you’re no longer “that parent”… you’re that parent.

The Challenges No One Talks About Enough

There are days when the downsides feel heavy.

1. Less family time together

When everyone is heading in different directions, shared meals, slow evenings, and togetherness can feel squeezed out.

2. The constant taxi service

The logistics. The rushing. The mental load. Parenting can start to feel less like presence and more like coordination.

And for many Asian families, this is layered with additional pressures — work, extended family responsibilities, cultural expectations — making the juggle even more intense.

But there’s another side too

And this is where the conversation needs balance, because there are real positives.

• Children gain experiences we can’t always offer at home

• Specialist coaching, teamwork, discipline, and confidence-building moments that go beyond what we can provide as parents.

• They interact with a wider range of people

• Different ages, backgrounds, personalities — helping them learn adaptability and empathy.

• Less screen time. In a world where screens are everywhere, clubs offer purposeful, engaging alternatives.

• Strong social skills

• We live in a country where loneliness is becoming a serious issue — for children and adults alike. Learning how to connect, collaborate, and belong is a life skill.
  

So… To Club or Not to Club?

Maybe the real question isn’t whether our children should do clubs — but how we approach them.

For our family, that looks like:

• Being intentional rather than reactive

• Accepting seasons where it feels busy — and seasons where we pull back

• Protecting at least one day for rest, connection, and being together

There’s no perfect balance. Just conscious choices.

And perhaps the most important lesson for our children isn’t how many clubs they attend — but learning that their interests matter, and so does family time.

Sometimes parenting isn’t about sticking to the promises we made before children…

It’s about adapting with honesty, flexibility, and a little bit of humour — especially when you’re living out of your car boot.

A Moment to Reflect

Maybe this isn’t about whether you’re a “yes to clubs” parent or a “no to clubs” parent.

Maybe it’s about asking ourselves — every now and then — a few honest questions:

• Are these clubs adding joy or creating constant stress in our home?

• Do my children still have space to rest, play, and be bored?

• Are we protecting time to be together, not just time to be productive?

• Am I saying yes because it works for us — or because it feels expected?

For many of us, especially in Asian families, there can be an unspoken pressure to keep up, to give our children every opportunity, to not let them “fall behind”. But parenting isn’t a race, and childhood isn’t a checklist.

It’s okay to:

• Pause a club

• Change your mind

• Create boundaries

• Choose rest over routine

There’s no single right balance, only what feels right for your family, in this season.

And if you find yourself sitting in the car, waiting outside yet another club, perhaps that quiet moment is an invitation to pause, to breathe, and to remind yourself that doing your best doesn’t have to mean doing everything. You might also choose to use that time to gently tend to yourself: read a few pages of a book, go for a short walk or jog, catch up with friend on the phone or simply listen to a podcast and let your mind rest.