Bellbottoms to Bindis: A life lived between two cultures
As part of our Sister Stories series for South Asian Heritage Month 2025, we’re honoured to share a deeply personal reflection from a member of our community. This story offers a powerful lens into the experiences of growing up in a traditional Sikh household in 1960s Britain. Through memory, resilience, and cultural transformation, it echoes this year’s SAHM theme “Roots to Routes”—showing how the journeys of our parents continue to shape our identity and belonging today. Dive into this moving story of adaptation, resistance, and pride in South Asian heritage.
A childhood rooted in tradition
As I look back at the decades behind me, I am in awe of how much has changed within the South Asian community.
As a daughter of Sikh immigrant parents who held traditional values, beliefs and practices close to their heart, as well as a steadfast determination to instil these in their children I have nothing but admiration for what they accomplished, against the backdrop of being in a strange country, where people spoke a language they did not understand, and whose culture and practices were in direct conflict with their own upbringing, and the upbringing they wished for their children.
Separated by distance, bound by culture
I never knew my grandparents, aunts and uncles as they were all in India, and in those days very few people went back to visit. Although this changed in later generations, I never visited the country of my origins until my late 20's, because I felt very little connection to it, or its people.
Growing up in the 1960's and the subsequent few decades there was very little emphasis on materialistic things compared to today, nevertheless my colourful life was vibrant with all the interactions I had within my own large household that always had so many people coming in and out, and the extended network of family and relatives. Therefore I had a big circle of connections of all ages who influenced my upbringing. Asian communities were tightly bound by our culture and beliefs and the first generation of immigrants in this country were not yet ready to embrace integration, and face the implications these could create on their carefully curated lives. Equally I don't think Britain was ready for the changes that integration would necessitate, and therefore debate and discussions came much later as the minority groups in the country gradually grew.
Vibrant Memories of Community Life
My parents had taken me to regular community gatherings at the Gurdwara, and exposed me to the wider Asian community. Weddings and celebrations were also of great importance, and bought about immense pleasure. I remember the excitement of looking forward to these events which could last for many days, where we all dressed in traditional clothes, ate traditional food was made at home from scratch and was rich in texture and flavour, and our parents mother tongue was the language spoken. On these occasions there was traditional dance and music which I always looked forward to. As a young child growing up I remember these times as being happy and totally immersive experiences, encompassing all the colours of the rainbow, which left a lasting memory of when life had seemed blissful and uncomplicated.
Caught between two worlds
But nothing stays the same, by the time I had left school I was a different person who was greatly influenced by the British culture of pop music, wearing bellbottom trousers and shoes with heels, much to the dismay of my parents. Those were my rebel years, where I was torn between two cultures, two languages, two very differing points of view that were always going to be conflicting, and two sets of expectations. This was a time of exploration as I was going out to work, and beginning to form my own opinions as I navigated my way though my dual cultural identity, trying to make sense of the world and where I fitted in.
Learning to embrace multiple identities
It was not until a long time later that I learnt to be more appreciative of the multiple identities I carry, and that these are something to embrace because they have enriched my life, and opened up opportunities that I would not have encountered otherwise. My parents had been fearful that if I embraced the British culture I would abandon my own, but you can live in both, we all can.
Facing racism and finding resilience
England was a different country back then, racism when I experienced it was direct and confrontational, causing me to seek the comfort and protection from my own family and community, these encounters left me feeling vulnerable and exposed because the colour of my skin was not something that I could hide. Thankfully as a child and young adult your mind is easily diverted to other things, and the experiences and feelings associated with racism can be pushed away into the deep recesses of your mind until called upon at a later time in your life.
Marriage, motherhood, and cultural continuity
Like most Asian parents of that era, mine also did not believe it was necessary for a child to have further education, therefore a traditional marriage was arranged for me with someone from India has soon has I turned 18. This brought about many challenges, but through resilience and the sense of purpose that had been ingrained in me as part of my upbringing I felt that it was important to continue to maintain the culture of a traditional Sikh household. And with my own children I too wanted them to embrace their Asian heritage, and be proud of their culture, and allow it to enrich their lives, so that it does not get forgotten.
Why our stories matter
Telling my story to the next generations is important so that they can see through lived history the impact our origins and beliefs have had on our culture. The sacrifices that have been made along the way to secure a better future for them. I feel it is important for future generations to know how previous generations struggled and fought for when is now given freely to them.
A tapestry of resilience and belonging
Through resilience we have adapted to being part of a diverse population in our adopted country. Through determination we had supported the next children to be educated so that they can participate in all walks of life.
Asian Heritage is a rich tapestry where we all our threads intertwine through the passage of time.
