Asian Money Matters: Part 3 -The Emotional Roller Coaster
Welcome to the Third edition
Hello, and welcome to the third edition of Asian Money Matters! We are delighted to have you join our journey as we navigate the financial landscape through the lens of our community.
Each article builds upon a different life stage with the aim of bringing awareness to what drives our financial decisions rather than providing tips on managing money.
This issue: Early adulthood (Ages 20–35)
Each edition concludes with personal reflections and a reflective exercise.
The emotional roller-coaster of earning
As young adults we tend to begin our financial journey by living from pay-check to pay-check, spending our money on living expenses, education and catering to our emotional needs, with minimal attention to possibility of planning and saving for the future. As Asian women, our emphasis tends to be placed on duty to our parents, to our families, communities and culture. This commitment often outweighs our duty to our emotional and physical well-being.
I have titled this series as the “emotional roller-coaster” as it’s the initial stage of earning our own income, and also entering the world of spending, which in turns depletes our earned income. As we move into different stages of our lives, our relationships with money matters evolve to adapt to the complex economic and social environments that surround us. Social media plays a vital role in shaping our relationship with money matters. As we enter the financial arena wide eyed and innocent, unknowing how the dark debt of consumerism awaits to exploit our vulnerabilities.
The high price of appearance
A 2015 study by CEW and Mintel revealed the average British woman spends £100,000 on appearance over her lifetime (CEW & Mintel, 2015) as many women prioritise looks over health, with significant numbers choosing new clothes or beauty products over dental care or health check-ups. A significant percentage of that expenditure came from the British Asian community, spending an estimated £1.2 billion per year (Huffington Post). Hollywood Mirrors further breaks these numbers down by reporting British women spend £450 a year on cosmetic products, making UK women the highest spenders on these products in Europe.
A recent study shows that multi-ethnic women in the UK, including Asian and Black women, spend approximately 25% more per month on health and beauty than other UK consumers—amounting to £230 million each month or £2.7 billion annually (Professional Beauty, 2020). Despite this, many of us still struggle to find suitable products for our skin tones and hair types, with nearly 40% of Asian and Black women reporting difficulties in accessing appropriate cosmetics and skincare (Retail Gazette, 2020). This often pushes us to seek out specialist outlets or import products from abroad, further increasing the cost.
Globally, Asian countries consistently rank among the highest in beauty spending relative to GDP: Japan (0.63%), South Korea (0.53%), Hong Kong (0.45%), Thailand (0.40%)—compared to the UK at 0.42% (ResearchGate). This suggests a cultural tendency toward higher beauty investment in many Asian societies, a mindset that continues to influence British Asian women's spending habits.
This trend is not just about individual preference—it reflects a deeper emotional and cultural conditioning. In many Asian cultures, physical appearance is closely tied to notions of success, respectability, and even marriageability. These ideals often follow us across generations and geographies, shaping how we perceive beauty and what we're willing to spend on it.
Growing Asian woman population un UK
Gov.UK reports that according to the 2021 census, Asian women and girls made up 30.4 million (51.0%) of the population of England and Wales, and men and boys made up 29.2 million (49.0%), of which the population of Asian women/girls went up by 0.7 million (from 7.3% to 9.2%) – compared to Asian men and boys which went up by 0.6 million. These numbers show the growing numbers of Asian women, which in turn leads to more spending by Asian the Asian community. On-line marketing is fast adapting to these patterns by modifying their strategies to target Asian women.
The Economist reported that Asian’s are the greatest hope of many retail companies across the world, with women driving the growth in on-line shopping. Women surveyed reported that 63% browse the Internet at least once a day for products and services, with nearly 30% doing so twice or more per day. Over half of women surveyed agreed they were likely to impulse buy.
The cost of dreams
Trends identify increased spending on education. An epidemic in educational debt. Student debt is complex and driven partly by increased education costs, increased interest rates, parental expectations, and a desire for higher standards of living which also links to the logical side of the brain to gain security and provide for family. Young adults are finding even after accumulating educational debt, they are still unable to obtain a career that fulfils their aspirations, or provides financial independence. Based on a report Student Statistics recorded in the House of Commons library, currently £20 billion per year is loaned to around 1.5 million higher education students. Outstanding loans at the end of March 2024 reached £236 billion. The UK Government forecasts the outstanding loans will reach around £500 billion (2023‑24 prices) by the late-2040s.
Emerging trends: frugality as empowerment
In China, a new trend is emerging. A trend towards being thrifty and cool. Women are using social media platform not as a tool to spend, but flipping it as a tool to save - by sharing experiences, supporting and mentoring each other into making frugal financial choices creating a vibrant community of like minded financial warriors. Yet in the UK Asian women have yet to discover the power of collaboration to support a thrifty way to manage their money and still remain cool. This highlights the impact that social, cultural and family environments plays on the spending dynamics of women.
Emotional awareness
During our early adult years, we are often presented with life changing financial choices. Having a strong foundation with parents helps support our transition from teenage years into adulthood by reducing anxiety and promoting healthy choices. Early adulthood involves embarking on new, exciting and often daunting financial decisions - like purchasing a car, investing in education, having a child, or travelling. No matter which path we take, either by choice, or by life’s circumstances, we are often confronted with financial roadblocks that require attention. Each choice we make becomes part of our life’s passage - a doorway to our next chapter. Avoiding making money decisions, or spending excessively can eventually lead us into financial traps involving credit debt. By developing healthy routines of daily awareness on our inflows and outflows of money, helps to encourage a path of financial independence, a path that requires daily persistence, and a support network.
The Spending Triangle
Spending is driven by:
Physical needs (body)
Logical reasoning (mind)
Emotional impulses (heart)
As Asian women, the emotional side of this triangle tends to trump our spending. Although our minds and our bodies play a vital role in navigating our choices, our emotions often dominate key spending choices.
Awareness on what motivates our choices – emotional, logic, or physical – aids to provide a sense of control, empowering our ability to change or prevent negative habits, and supports balanced financial decisions. A desire to spend on higher education is often driven by logic, whilst the desire to spend on appearance can be driven by emotional impulses. During early adulthood, the roller-coast cycle of our life, we tend to set aside, or forget that our bodies also require care. Investing in our bodies - our health and well-being matters. I will explore this further as we progress through later stages.
Once we begin to incorporate awareness into our everyday spending, this creates space - shifting us away from the financial roller-coaster cycle, and towards increased savings and decreased spending. A material driven life does not equal a joyful life, it is just a temporary fix. Taking ownership towards building a healthy future begins during early adulthood, ideally during childhood. It’s natural to expect that getting married will solve this dilemma by preventing the need to carry this burden alone, but life has no guarantees. Even with a healthy partnership, anything can change leading you back to square one on the financial chessboard. Taking ownership and managing your money starting with your childhood pennies, is a key step towards realizing financial freedom.
Who teaches us about money?
Despite having close ties to parents, many Asian young adults turn to TikTok and YouTube for financial advice. In many Asian households, the topic of money still remains taboo.
The Journal of Financial Counselling found:
Having a childhood savings account correlates with better adult money management
But it doesn’t help with credit card use
Women often carry more credit card debt than men and feel less confident managing money
The good news? Awareness and education can reverse these trends.
Personal reflections: My journey through financial awakening
During my early adult years, I lived with the notion that everything relating to money would magically manifest itself. By early adulthood, my life was arranged which involved moving to a new country, living in a small isolated community with the reliance on my in-laws for food, shelter and communication with the outside world. This change was both a social and cultural shock that included different living, eating and spending styles. My husband was unconcerned with money matters as he worked the basic months a year to qualify for employment income replacement supports. My father in law informed me that my job was to earn and support my husband to to his mental limitations. Our initial savings consisted of a few thousand pounds gifted by family and relatives as part of our wedding dowry.
Once obtaining a work visa, we moved to the mainland with his brothers family, shortly after I began working at a local dressmakers - the only industry I understood. We soon moved again and I found a job working by day flipping burgers, and early evening at a pizza place, taking pizza’s in and out of an oven.
During this time, I received a call from my mother stating my father was sick, and to come home. Upon returning to England, I found my father dying of cancer. His strong determined body was now frail as it lay humbly beneath a pale blue hospital blanket. Our eyes met, as a tear trickled from my fathers eyes, and from mine. Without words, he offered his unconditional love, love that I yearned for, love that melted away my years of resentment. Each day I travelled on multiple busses to visit my father along with my mother, and niece who was less than a year old. As my father health further declined, my mother began to stand tall and transition into the the pillar of support for the family. Six months later his body was cremated, and I was reluctantly summoned back to Canada. Upon returning, I found the joint bank account that contained our dowry was emptied. During this time something shifted. I no longer felt obligated to return to work in the food or the sewing industry. For once I felt I could make a choice - I could change my pattern. I soon got a job at the YWCA as a front desk assistant, and a year later was working at my first white color job as a budget control clerk in a large oil and gas company.
Turning pain into purpose
The cultural impacts of my upbringing taught me that the man ran the household, and my place as an Asian woman was not in education, but to work at a pink color job and raise children. My father’s death, combined with the depletion of my savings encouraged me to look beyond my childhood influences, as I realized that I could not rely on a man for my financial welfare - I alone was responsible for the quality of my life, and for the management of my finances. As a child, my father had often introduced me as the un-intelligent child, but now it was time to step out from this dream, and craft a new story - earning money not with the means of my physical abilities, but daring to earn based on the means of my intellect.
My transition from the pink to the white color industry was complimented by my determination to attend night school and study finance and business. Change without effort is unstable, with commitment lasting change is possible. My spending habits during this time were minimalistic as I’d not yet stumbled on the idea of using money as a tool to gain social acceptance (I will touch on the next issue). As my patterns changed, so did my independence, with this new growth my marriage began to disintegrate.
By around 29 I was divorced and after the legal bills I found myself with limited money, but regardless I embarked on a trip to England to attend a family function, and for the first time used a credit card to finance my trip. A card that was eagerly offered to me through my bank. A year later the trip was still on my credit card as I lived from pay-check to pay-check. I had no-one to provide me with financial guidance, but luckily I had the sense to approach my bank manager. Looking back, she was a saviour. I was offered a loan in return for handing over my plastic credit card. She took out a pair of stickers and cut the card into pieces - an experience I will never forget. The experience provided me with an opportunity to create a fresh start. The plan was a promise not to obtain any new credit card till the loan was paid. During this time I began visiting charity shops and created a new habit of spending more frugally.
Within four years of experiencing the debt, I was debt free and also had saved enough to place a small down payment on a one bedroom flat. This experience taught me that financial independence cannot be masked by credit, but built on sensible and often tough choices. Had I not sought help, I may not have been aware of options available to me and negatively impacted my credit score leading towards a cycle of debt. Credit card can be used to build good credit - I will elaborate further in the next issue. It takes awareness and effort to live a financially responsible life - especially in early years. I was fortunate to learn some important lessons during this period, but little did I know that life’s financial checkerboard was complex, and riddled with ups and downs, lessons which materialized as I navigated different life stages.
Self reflection exercise
Next we explore a self reflective exercise. You will need a quiet comfortable space, a journal, and a candle. The focus of this exercise is to awaken within you, your awareness, and inspire within you, your natural sense of empowerment.
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Embark in a 7 day challenge (or 30 days if you feel up to it) to build awareness with your money habits.
· Budget: Create a budget for the month. Split your monthly money into 3 categories. 1) needs 2) wants 3) savings. For example, 50% of money could be applied towards basic needs (rent, bills, food), 30% towards purchases driven by emotional needs, and 20% towards savings. The savings are ideally towards a long term goals such as a house purchase or retirement plan rather than towards short term spending goals.
· Track: Document your spending over the month and track the amount you spent in each of the 3 categories.
· Review: At the end of the 30 days, review your outflow of cash on each of the categories, compared to your initial plan.
· Refection: Reflect on your spending choices with awareness. If your plan was not as realised, reflect on what triggered the deviations without self judgement. Reflect over time on the patterns. This awareness will aid in shaping new habits.
· Gratitude: With gratitude, honour and accept your ability to embark on a journey towards empowerment.
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Sit quietly and close your eyes. When ready, with Awareness, bring open to one or two key experiences or triggers that drive your spending needs and see if these triggers are driven by emotional needs, wants or emotional desires.
Write these experiences in your journal.
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Light a candle and sit silently for five minutes watching the flame burn.
Like a Window opens for fresh air, open your heart allowing the light of the candle to nourish you.
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Breath In: I am in Acceptance with all that is.
Pause.
Breath out: I let go of all that no longer serves me.
Repeat seven times.
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Feel unconditional Kindness towards each part of your body, thanking it for its support.
Feel kindness towards your brain for all its efforts to support you in navigating your day with clarity and wisdom.
Pause as you feel your emotions, accept them no matter how and when they arise. Knowing that they appear and disappear without warning, accept them, yet know that you have the ability to observe your emotions, yet navigate outside them to make the choices that will serve you.
With your eyes closed, acknowledge with gratitude Knowing that it is truly you, not your body, not your brain that is the navigator of your life journey.
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Place your feet on the ground and Engage, feeling the grounding aspects of mother earth.
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Journal your insights with curiosity, love and acceptance.
Our definition of wealth is ever evolving. Understanding and accepting the challenges previous generations endured is important, but just as important is to break the patterns that no longer serve you. With each new generation, new challenges arise, with clarity discipline and awareness together we can move towards redefining what wealth and prosperity means for us as Asian women in today’s world, as well as daughters of the future.
The following is quote written by Carolina Herrera.
“Money doesn’t buy elegance. You can take an inexpensive sheath, add a pretty scarf, grey shoes and a wonderful bag, and it will always be elegant.”
Below are references that relate to this article. I would like to add that whilst researching, I found a lack of current data that consistently documented spending trends relating to British Asian women. This is a crucial reminder that as Asian women, we need to be more proactive and fight as warriors to position and protect ourselves and our families financial welfare.
Your feedback on the Asian Money Matters series is welcome at support@ambercommunity.net
References:
Beauty Brands Missing £2.7bn Annually in Revenue
https://impact.economist.com/perspectives/sites/default/files/Laurel%20West%20-%20VIPShop%20report%20English%20Dec15%20V01.pdf
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/where-are-all-the-south-asians-in-diverse-beauty_uk_5a69cbc9e4b06bd14be5073f#:~:text=In%202015%2C%20research%20by%20CEW,£1.2%20billion%20per%20year.
https://www.ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk/uk-population-by-ethnicity/demographics/male-and-female-populations/latest/
https://sussex.figshare.com/articles/journal_contribution/Because_you_re_worth_it_women_s_daily_hair_care_routines_in_contemporary_Britain/23436935?file=41148848
https://www.hollywoodmirrors.co.uk/blogs/news/the-price-of-beauty-uk-2022-infographics?srsltid=AfmBOop4wz9Epm0FeDPD5xpPDHjUsHQll6XUk8zEKwQ07jOah9AcDMI_
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2001/jun/26/marketingandpr
https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2022/01/10828999/british-south-asian-women-success
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2024/11/29/chinese-internet-spending-challenge/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktUX5xSwNKE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXPOjGCZvjc
https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/sn01079/#:~:text=Currently%20£20%20billion%20per,)%20by%20the%20late%2D2040s.
https://www.afcpe.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/v24_1_61-79.pdf